Thursday, September 08, 2005

Knee-Jerk Response

Many years ago, a friend of mine was dying of cancer while another tried to commit suicide. My sick friend sadly noted the irony – here was someone trying to end life, while she fought desperately to keep hers.

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For a long time after I experienced a great loss of my own, my own life went into a tail-spin. Grief, like great love, sometimes manifests itself in the most unrecognizable ways. You miss things, except in hindsight. Loss takes you to some really ugly places, but at a certain point (“when” I suppose is different for everyone) it simply stops, turns around and catapults you into the opposite direction.

I can’t wax Dalai Lama-esque. I’m guilty of whining and complaining, too. Any given day something will still annoy, upset me; the tiny pebble in my shoe becomes all-consuming, things grow dark. But, we are all offered up a corollary that I am just beginning to embrace myself: any given day there is also something ridiculously good; there is always something sitting on the cusp of perfection.

Nothing brings you joy. You have no idea what to do. You're simply oh-so-bored with the planet, and you think it's stylish. Look in the other direction, please. If nothing else, you’re BREATHING. Show some respect for what’s been given you. Live with some gratitude.

2 Comments:

Blogger Tee said...

My dearest Nina,

How we've grown no? :)
I thought I'd share this from a beautiful little book another good friend lent:

WHEN I LOVED MYSELF ENOUGH

I COULD REMEMBER, DURING TIMES OF CONFUSION, STRUGGLE OR GRIEF, THAT THESE TOO ARE PART OF ME AND DESERVE MY LOVE.

-Kim McMillen

You've loved well..

September 11, 2005 11:36 PM  
Blogger nini said...

thank you, t. (*hug)

September 12, 2005 9:38 AM  

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