Monday, August 30, 2004

Pseudoephedrine Is My Friend

Skully retired. This is the new photo above my desk. It is equal parts beautiful and sad, I think.

As Mondays go, this one was not bad. It was busy but the work is done now, tomorrow is another day. I’ve been nursing a cold today and have not been feeling too great. The medicine I took is not working (yet?), but again I can’t complain.

Is this even-temperedness a side effect?

I have been dreaming of my sister a lot lately. In my dreams she is well and healthy and happy. Her hair is long and untied, her face is a little rounder than I know she likes – she always said that any weight she gains always shows on her cheeks first, though I’ve always thought she exaggerated. She was the striking one who inherited my grandmother’s “classic” features while I, her personal adoring Igor, was more the watered-down hybrid of my mother and father, not nearly as interesting or memorable. In the dreams I tell her things as if I am filling someone in who has been away on a long holiday or living in another country. She is with me in all sorts of places – gas station, car, by the side of the road on an out-of-town trip, my office, with friends I’ve just met, even shopping for (clutch my pearls!) my own wedding (!). Always she looks amused as I talk. While we are together it doesn’t occur to me to ask her how she’s doing or what she is up to. Neither do I throw my arms around her and tell her how much I miss her. It is only when I wake up that I think to do these things, tell myself I will next time I see her, but then I never do. Instead, I tell her how much I spent for car repairs, or where a cousin is planning to move, etc.


Do your loved ones really drop in to visit or is the brain just really a wonderful organ? Your theories are welcome.

Either way, I miss her too much sometimes, it is impossible to put into words.


Blogger vcalanog said...

Would you visit your loved ones if you had crossed the other side, if you could, and if they would have wanted you to?

August 31, 2004 8:22 AM  
Blogger nini said...

I would, dear friend. And I would dispense with the subtleties while I was at it. :)

August 31, 2004 9:12 PM  

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