How Do I Stop This Thing?

I am back at the “office” today, after zipping from one mall to another for work yesterday. I began at Eastwood, then a shop in Quezon Avenue, proceeded to Shangri-La, then Rockwell and ended in Glorietta. Tomorrow, three shops in Alabang Town Center, and another in Festival Mall. It sounds like a lot of to-dos, and it is, but it is (sadly) hardly a design fulfillment. I think it is because I’m hurrying so much. Since the weekend I’ve spent so much time in the car, shuttling from one place to another, that I’m already craving for time to just sit. In one place. Preferably outdoors. With sand. And a beer. Feel free to throw in your own details.

While working on one of the stores yesterday, I was told that one of the salespeople died less than 2 months ago. He had a heart attack at the age of 30 – he was in pretty good shape they say, he wasn’t aware that he had any serious medical problems. His heart just stopped while he was sitting with his wife and their 5-month old son. These things unnerve me, they really do. It is that barely perceptible tug at the sleeve that drives you nuts for days.

For months now I have been seriously considering taking a leave from work. At the start I thought of traveling, but now I would be happy for time just to sit and think. (Preferably outdoors…with sand…) Is this a good idea? I worry that it may be simple self-indulgence or laziness, but I can put my hand on my heart and say with all sincerity that I am plain weary. Everyone gets tired. Not everybody's weary.

My workload is gradually thinning out. It is both a relief and scary. Maybe now is a good time to check the escape hatch.

“I shall meet you outside the railway station, you shall know me by the cut of my clothes and the smell of my cologne.”